Maybe you would like the gym better with audiobooks?

I've tried audiobooks but they didn't really help. They don't tend to be loud enough to block out the short, thick necked grunty men dropping heavy things and they also tend to be a little slow for a workout.

I use a combination of music on an iPod and the TVs at the gym to try and distract myself. The music helps to keep me motivated but the TV is hit-or-miss. If I show up at the wrong time I might get stuck watching some pretty lousy sitcoms or one of the times when they set all TVs to show a local sporting event.

Videogames would probably work well but there would be a problem of finding some cardio workout I can do while playing. (Walking on the treadmill or using the elliptical machine requires too much moving around.)

The main problem is that I don't enjoy working out and I'm never going to enjoy working out. It's difficult and sweaty and unpleasant and none of that is going to change.

Oh that's too bad. Do you really dislike every form of exercise you've yet tried? I really dislike some forms, and really like others. I really like playing sports for fun, digging holes, and cutting rocks (the latter two with audio books). Shoveling and raking are not my favorites, even with audiobooks. The problem seemed to be in my pacing. I seem to want to go too fast, which feels unpleasant. When digging holes, I naturally maintain a nice, even pace that I can sustain for hours. Oh, I also like riding my bike when I can go fast and there are few cars or people around. For some reason riding slowly (say over rough ground or into a wind) causes another pacing problem. I try to work too hard and feel miserable.