The cable guy finally showed up around 1pm and didn't realize he was supposed to install digital cable in addition to the cable modem. Getting the cable modem up and running required a couple calls to tech support (the instructions wanted a "registration number" which is the last nine digits of a number on the work order but nothing in the documentation mentions that.) Then the software kept giving me an error.
Now I'm posting using the cable modem and Starcade is on the TV (a video game gameshow from the early '80s.)
Time to go to work.